Marriage: Church vs State

Reviewing my Facebook feed for the last several days, I encountered the entire gamut of reactions to the Supreme Court's decision on Friday June 25th to legalize gay marriage in all fifty states - allowing countless gay couples to finally get married or have their marriages legally acknowledged in their home states.  The reactions to this news on my Facebook feed were thrilled, triumphant, relieved, supportive, and also horrified and sad - rainbow tinted pictures and disappointed quotes from Catholic bishops.  I considered posting a status, but decided instead to write this post.

First, let me say that I unequivocally support the legalization of gay marriage in the United States and heartily congratulate everyone for whom this has been a long-awaited victory.  Second, let me say that I think I understand why those in the Catholic community (and perhaps other conservative Christian groups - but I have little experience with them, and will therefore only speak towards my understanding of Catholic doctrine) are so thoroughly saddened by this news - and its not exactly the reason that liberal media try to portray.  Third, let me try to explain where I see dissonance between these views, and how I discern my own stance in the matter.

Despite the actions of some poorly-behaved individuals, most of those people who identify as Catholic do not hate gay people.  In fact, many have relatives and friends who are gay, and towards whom they hold deep feelings of love and respect.  However, the Catholic mindset is one that expects the prioritization of belief - even alongside doubt - over personal inclinations.  This includes marriage.  To a Catholic, marriage is not just 'marriage' - the legal joining of two people in love and the social acceptance and privileges that entails.  To a Catholic, marriage is the Sacrament of Marriage.  It is the framework upon which Catholic Christian beliefs regarding love, sex, and procreation are grounded.

To a Catholic, the love between two people is a reflection of God's love for us, his children.  Like God's love, it is to be constant and forever.  I have never heard a good Catholic try to deny that gay people have the ability to truly love one another.  However, for a Catholic, love can be chaste - in fact, should be chaste outside the boundaries of marriage.  For a Catholic, marriage is essentially the legitimization of a sexual relationship, and sex is essentially an act of creation or procreation.  This is the basis of Catholic doctrine regarding marriage - stripped down it has nothing to do with man vs woman per se.  It has everything to do with marriage as the supportive foundation for procreation - and since two men or two women are not physically able to create a child, whatever their relationship may be (and however lovely it might be) it is not marriage.

Of course, there are many who try to co-opt Christian teachings to justify their own opinions, inclinations or reactions - to gay marriage and just about every other possible issue.  They often give the wrong impression of, and a very bad reputation to, 'real' Christians - 'God Hates Fags' etc.  To those who think that real Christians are those who espouse violent hatred and disgusting intolerance, let me say that those I refer to as 'real' Christians are equally repulsed with such behavior and would totally disavow association with them.  Christ - after all - preached love.  That does not mean, however, that faithful Christians will waver in their own underlying beliefs.

However, there are few things that bother me more than the conflation of one's own agenda, opinions, experience (or another issue) with the real issue at hand.  Such I consider the 'Sacrament of Marriage' with the legality of gay marriage.  Although many Christians would cite the First Amendment in their dissenting arguments towards the legalization of gay marriage - the First Amendment was not - essentially - protecting religious groups.  It was a law separating Church and State.

First Amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

As Thomas Jefferson wrote in a letter to the Danbury Baptist Association in 1802 regarding the First Amendment: "Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between Church and State."

The founders of the United States - from very early on - made the decision NOT to establish this country as a Christian country.  It was a country, a nation, a political entity, that made it expressly clear that it would not 'make [a] law respecting an establishment of religion' - meaning it would not 'establish a religion' via law.  Now - unfortunately - Christianity being so prevalent and strongly influential during the early years of the United States, certain Christian beliefs and concepts and functions were incorporated into the actions and operations of the government.  This included mentions about God into the Pledge of Allegiance; the incorporation of certain social expectations about our politicians - especially the President - into our national consciousness; and certain regulations regarding religious groups into our legislation of entities such as non-profits.  It also included the incorporation of the Christian image of marriage - as could be recorded in law, and not including the underlying belief system - as a political image of marriage.  However, it should be noted that this 'secular' marriage is not the 'Sacrament of Marriage'.  In the United States, you can be married with a piece of paper from the court house - no church or ceremony required.  And therein lies my argument.

Marriage in the United States is not the same thing as the 'Sacrament of Marriage' within the Catholic Church.  And as such, it should not be regulated by Christian sentiment, but by the will of the people and according to this country's founding principles.  The people made it clear what they support, and given the First Amendment's stated purpose above, I think it is undeniable that the Supreme Court made the right decision.

I can understand that for a Catholic - and any devoted Christian - allegiance is to be paid first to God and one's beliefs.  However, as Americans, it behooves us to respect the legal secular rights of others - including the right to unite in marriage.  It is unfortunate that the Christian model of marriage has for so long been the basis of the secular version, because in disavowing it, it may seem like the 'Sacrament of Marriage' has been sullied in some way.  This is not the case.  Simply, the United States has become so diverse and the needs of the people have become so different, that the Christian model is no longer necessary - and indeed, does not satisfy - the needs of the country as a whole.  This was true when children were no longer required to say the Pledge of Allegiance due to the religious sentiment tucked within.  It was true when we finally overcame prejudice and elected a Catholic President.  It was true when divorce became socially acceptable.  And it is true now, when people (first and always, people) who love people of the same sex, can finally legally marry their partners.  As Christ said, 'Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and give unto God what is God's.'

And just in case you were beginning to think, "Well by God, it SHOULD be a Christian country," please remember that those who seek to force their religious beliefs on others will only be required to rule by force.  For example, I give the Byzantine Iconoclasm and the current Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS).  And just in case you still had an extremely negative view of Catholicism due to the Catholic doctrine regarding marriage, please remember that many Catholics struggle with reconciling their beliefs and the realities of living in the modern world - and if we demand freedom from the 'establishment of religion,' we should also allow 'the free exercise thereof.'

Update: If there is one Christian group that I consider perhaps more conservative (not necessarily 'morally', but as in even closer to the teachings of Christ) than Catholicism  it is Orthodoxy.  Please take a moment to review this statement by the Orthodox Church of America.  It is truly what I expect from Christianity.